How to tell someone their code sucks

Hey! Thanks for reading! Just a reminder that I wrote this some years ago, and may have much more complicated feelings about this topic than I did when I wrote it. Happy to elaborate, feel free to reach out to me! 😄

Some days I just wish I were David Korn

No, it's completely wrong-headed, insane and unreasonable. Your code is 100% bogus and should be taken out the back, lined up against a wall, and machine-gunned.

Then the bleeding corpse should be hung, drawn and quartered.

Then burnt.

Then the smouldering rubble should be jumped up and down on.

By a hippo.