🎙 Vocalization gimmick songs 🗣

Wednesday, July 27, 2022 :: Tagged under: arts culture pablolife. ⏰ 9 minutes.

Hey! Thanks for reading! Just a reminder that I wrote this some years ago, and may have much more complicated feelings about this topic than I did when I wrote it. Happy to elaborate, feel free to reach out to me! 😄

The song for this post is, really, any of them here.

Last few posts have been Heavy Introspection, here's one for funzies. I listen more to the music and tones in songs than the lyrics, but there are songs where I love vocalization gimmicks. Something that requires a ton of practice to pull off. Here are a few; note that here my lack of expertise in hip-hop will be very apparent, they do amazing wild shit there but I just haven't listened to enough of it.

I challenge you to hit play, then follow along with the lyrics (right below the video, expand the dialog by tapping the triangle). Hit play again, try to sing along to it. Tell me how it goes 😛

Weird Al, Hardware Store.

This one doesn't hit until its B Section, with the "They've got…" section.

Lyrics

Nothin' ever (ever) happens in this town
Feelin' low down (down), not a lot to do around here
I thought that I would go right out of my mind
Until a friend told me the news
He said, "Hey, you know that vacant lot
Right beside the gas station? Well, somebody bought it
And on that spot they're gonna build a shop
Where we can go buy bolts and screws"
Since then I've been walking on air (air)
I can barely brush my teeth or comb my hair
'Cause I'm so excited and I really don't care
I've been waiting since last June
For this day to finally arrive
I'm so happy (happy) now just to be alive
'Cause any minute now I'm gonna be inside
Well, I hope they open soon
I can't wait, (no I) I can't wait (oh when)
When are they gonna open up that door?
I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the
Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the
Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes, I'm goin' to the
Hardware store
In my sleeping bag I camped out overnight
Right in front of the store, then as soon as it was light out
I pressed my nose right up against the glass
You know, I had to be first in line
Gonna get me a flashlight and a broom
Want a pair of pliers for every single room of my house
See those hacksaws? Very, very soon
One of them will be all mine
Guys with nametags walking down the aisles
Rows of garden hoses that go on for miles and miles
Brand new socket wrenches in a plethora of styles
All arranged alphabetically
And they're doing a promotional stunt
There's a great big purple sign out front
That says every 27th customer
Will get a ball peen hammer free
I can't wait, (no I) I can't wait (oh when)
When are they gonna open up that door?
I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the
Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the
Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes, I'm goin' to the
Hardware store
I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the
Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the
Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes, I'm goin' to the
Hardware store
They've got allen wrenches, gerbil feeders, toilet seats, electric heaters
Trash compactors, juice extractor, shower rods and water meters
Walkie-talkies, copper wires safety goggles, radial tires
BB pellets, rubber mallets, fans and dehumidifiers
Picture hangers, paper cutters, waffle irons, window shutters
Paint removers, window louvres, masking tape and plastic gutters
Kitchen faucets, folding tables, weather stripping, jumper cables
Hooks and tackle, grout and spackle, power foggers, spoons and ladles
Pesticides for fumigation, high-performance lubrication
Metal roofing, water proofing, multi-purpose insulation
Air compressors, brass connectors, wrecking chisels, smoke detectors
Tire guages, hamster cages, thermostats and bug deflectors
Trailer hitch demagnetizers, automatic circumcisers
Tennis rackets, angle brackets, Duracells and Energizers
Soffit panels, circuit brakers, vacuum cleaners, coffee makers
Calculators, generators, matching salt and pepper shakers
I can't wait, (no I) I can't wait (oh when)
When are they gonna open the door?
I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the
Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the
Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes, I'm goin' to the
Hardware store
I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the
Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the
Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes, I'm goin' to the
Hardware store
I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the
Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the
Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes, I'm goin' to the
Hardware store

Primus, Tommy the Cat.

I have a whole blog post in me on how Primus was one of the only things that got through to me as a jaded, depressed teenager in the early aughts. We were too young for grunge, so a lot of disaffected men of this time burrowed into Weird Loner identity (see the romantic leads of Garden State, or Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, or Napoleon Dynamite).

While Primus's aesthetics are, uh, crass, there was actual virtuosity underneath it. The bass lines in tunes like Tommy the Cat or My Name is Mud slap (literally!) and I always dug the lyrics to this; I suppose my brain is broken because it's like poetry to me.

Lyrics

Well, I remember as it were a meal ago...
Said Tommy the Cat as he reeled back to clear whatever foreign matter,
May have nestled its way into his mighty throat.
Many a fat alley rat had met its demise while staring point blank down,
The cavernous barrel of this awesome prowling machine.
Truly a wonder of nature this urban predator.
Tommy the cat had many a story to tell
But it was a rare occasion such as this that he did...
"She came slidin' down the alleyway like butter drippin' off a hot biscuit.
The aroma, the mean scent, was enough to arouse suspicion in even the,
Oldest of Tigers that hung around the hot spot in those days.
The sight was beyond belief.
Many a head snapped for double - even triple - takes as this vivacious,
Feline made her her way into the delta of the alleyway,
Where the most virile of the young tabbies were known to hang out.
They hung in droves. Such a multitude of masculinity could only be
Found in one place...
And that was O'Malley's Alley...
The air was thick with cat calls (no pun intended),
But not even a muscle in her neck did, twitch as she sauntered straight into the heart of the alleyway.
She knew what she wanted...
She was lookin' for that stud bull.
She was looking for that THE cat.
And that was me.
Tommy the Cat is my name.
And I say unto thee...
'Say baby do you wanna lay down with me?
Say baby do you wanna lay down by my side?
Ah baby do you wanna lay down with me?
Say baby?...Say baby?'
(Break)
'Say baby do you wanna lay down with me?
Say baby do you wanna lay down by my side?
Ah baby do you wanna lay down with me?
Say baby?...Say baby?'
'Say baby do you wanna lay down with me?
Say baby do you wanna lay down by my side?
Ah baby do you wanna lay down with me?
Say babababay?'
'Say baby do you wanna lay down with me?
Say baby do you wanna lay down by my side?
Ah baby do you wanna lay down with me?
Say baby?...Say baby?'"
'Say baby do you wanna lay down with me?
Say baby do you wanna lay down by my side?
Ah baby do you wanna lay down with me?
Say baby?...Say baby?'"
'Say baby do you wanna lay down with me?
Say baby do you wanna lay down by my side?
Ah baby do you wanna lay down with me?
Say baby?...Say baby?'"
'Say baby do you wanna lay down with me?
Say baby do you wanna lay down by my side?
Ah baby do you wanna lay down with me?
Say baby?...
Say babyyyyyy!!!!???"

Steve Goodman, The Auctioneer.

My dad introduced me to Steve Goodman, and when I think about his work, I think it's a good model for what I'm after on the accordion: he plays a very eclectic mix of songs, some original and many covers, a mix of historical and contemporary, and they're all fun to listen to and sing along to.

Lyrics

Now there was a boy in Arkansas
And he wouldn't listen to his ma
When she told him that he ought to go to school
He'd sneak away in the afternoon,
And he'd take a little walk and pretty soon
You'd find him at the local auction barn
He'd stand and listen carefully
Then pretty soon he began to see
How the auctioneer could talk so rapidly
He said, "Oh my it's do or die
I've got to learn that auction cry
Gotta make my mark and be an auctioneer"
25 dollar 30 now 30 dollar 30 dollar
30 dollar 30 dollar give me a hollar 30 dollar
Who will bid it at a 35 dollar bid?
35 dollar 35 35 make it 35 and a 35 make it 35 and a 35
Who will bid it at a 35 dollar bid?
Now time went on and he didn't rest
And everybody saw that he didn't jest
He practiced calling bids every night and day
His daddy'd find him out behind the barn,
He'd be workin up an awful storm
He tried to imitate the auctioneer
And dad said "Son we can't stand
To have a mediocre man,
Selling things at auction using our good name.
Now I'll send you off to the auction school
And then you'll be nobody's fool
And you can take your place among the best"
35 dollar 40 now 40 dollar 40 dollar
40 dollar 40 dollar give me a hollar 40 dollar
Who will bid it at at a 40 dollar bid?
40 dollar 45 45 will you make it 45 give me 45 and a 45
Who will bid it at a 45 dollar bid?
From that boy that went to school
There grew a man who played it cool
And he came home a full fledged auctioneer
See the people come from miles around
What to hear him make that rhythmic sound
That filled their hearts with such a happy cheer
Then his fame reached out from shore to shore
And he had all that he could do and more
He had to buy a plane to get around
Well he was the best in all the land
And everybody gave that sucker a hand
And he was the best hillybilly auctioneer
45 dollar 50 now 50 dollar 50 dollar
50 dollar 50 dollar give me a hollar 50 dollar
Who will bid it at a 50 dollar bill?
50 dollar 55 55 make it 55 and a 55 make it 55 and
I sold that hog for a 50 dollar bid

Randy Rogel, The Nations of the World.

I can actually sing this one from memory. I learned it after my HS Drama teacher Kerri Rambow suggested it as a vocal warmup.

Lyrics

United States, Canada, Mexico, Panama
Haiti, Jamaica, Peru,
Republic Dominican, Cuba, Carribean
Greenland, El Salvador too.
Puerto Rico, Columbia, Venezuela
Honduras, Guyana, and still,
Guatemala, Bolivia, then Argentina
And Ecuador, Chile, Brazil.
Costa Rica, Belize, Nicaragua, Bermuda
Bahamas, Tobago, San Juan,
Paraguay, Uruguay, Surinam
And French Guiana, Barbados, and Guam.
Norway, and Sweden, and Iceland, and Finland
And Germany now one piece,
Switzerland, Austria, Czechoslovakia
Italy, Turkey, and Greece.
Poland, Romania, Scotland, Albania
Ireland, Russia, Oman,
Bulgaria, Saudi Arabia
Hungary, Cyprus, Iraq, and Iran.
There's Syria, Lebanon, Israel, Jordan
Both Yemens, Kuwait, and Bahrain,
The Netherlands, Luxembourg, Belgium, and Portugal
France, England, Denmark, and Spain.
India, Pakistan, Burma, Afghanistan
Thailand, Nepal, and Bhutan,
Kampuchea, Malaysia, then Bangladesh (Asia)
And China, Korea, Japan.
Mongolia, Laos, and Tibet, Indonesia
The Philippine Islands, Taiwan,
Sri Lanka, New Guinea, Sumatra, New Zealand
Then Borneo, and Vietnam.
Tunisia, Morocco, Uganda, Angola
Zimbabwe, Djibouti, Botswana,
Mozambique, Zambia, Swaziland, Gambia
Guinea, Algeria, Ghana.
Burundi, Lesotho, and Malawi, Togo
The Spanish Sahara is gone,
Niger, Nigeria, Chad, and Liberia
Egypt, Benin, and Gabon.
Tanzania, Somalia, Kenya, and Mali
Sierra Leone, and Algiers,
Dahomey, Namibia, Senegal, Libya
Cameroon, Congo, Zaire.
Ethiopia, Guinea-Bissau, Madagascar
Rwanda, Mahore, and Cayman,
Hong Kong, Abu Dhabi, Qatar, Yugoslavia…
Crete, Mauritania
Then Transylviania,
Monaco, Liechtenstein
Malta, and Palestine,
Fiji, Australia, Sudan.

Thanks for the read! Disagreed? Violent agreement!? Feel free to join my mailing list, drop me a line at , or leave a comment below! I'd love to hear from you 😄